‘She’s My Home’: An SF Couple’s Life Unraveled After an ICE Check-In

“We’re not just married,” Roberto said. “We go to the gym together, we’re together throughout the day and through the night. And we don’t get bored of each other.”

Sandra, he said, is someone “everyone loves.” She buys clothes to donate to homeless shelters. She cooks for her friends and Roberto’s coworkers, and always returns from her trips with gifts for them. She calls her parents regularly and is very close to his family.

This summer, Roberto said, “Many things started happening at once.” After almost a decade of waiting, Roberto secured legal status. In late June, they took a trip so Sandra could reunite with her two brothers. Soon after, he received a promotion at work. The couple was elated.

They were already planning their next trip to Washington D.C., and once Sandra obtained legal status, to visit the rest of the world, starting with Denmark and the Dominican Republic.

“We were looking to start a family,” he said.

But the morning after they learned of Roberto’s promotion, their lives took a turn when ICE arrested Sandra.

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Roberto can’t stop lamenting that day. That morning, as they waited for her appointment, she was “more affectionate than normal,” taking a selfie with Roberto and giving him small kisses.

She asked him to give her a hug, he said, and he told her she was being dramatic.

As 9 a.m. approached, Roberto told Sandra he had to leave for work. She didn’t want to be left alone and asked him to call in sick. But he was scheduled to start in 30 minutes, and decided to go in for the first part of the work day.

“My love,” he said he told her, “I’ll come back.”

But by the time he was clocking in, his phone rang. The call, he said, came from an unidentified number. When he picked up, he heard Sandra’s voice. She had been arrested, she told him, and would soon be moved to a detention center. Roberto rushed out of work and began calling legal aid groups. It was already too late.

“It’s like she could feel like something was going to happen,” Roberto said. “And I was so stupid … I think that if I had been with her, maybe they wouldn’t have taken her. I don’t know.”

ICE transferred Sandra to a detention center where she remains, according to the agency’s detainee locator. And Roberto was left outside, facing new beginnings, but separated from the person he most wanted to share them with.

“How can I stay focused?” he said. “I’ve gone to church a lot to beg God. I’ve gone to the beach because that’s where you feel the presence. And I’ve cried. I’ve cried so much. I won’t be at peace until we’re together again.”

Now, Roberto and Sandra call every day. He sends her money so she can rent a tablet from the facility and pay for video calls with him and her lawyer. Roberto said agents at the facility told Sandra that her case would take time to be resolved, making her feel hopeless.

“She doesn’t want to be there for a long time,” Roberto said.

Despite urging Sandra not to sign any documents, Roberto said lawyers and nonprofits haven’t given them much hope either.