Madame vs. Mademoiselle: Learn Which Word To Use and When

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When you hear the word mademoiselle (miss/young lady), the words “French,” “Paris,” and maybe even “Coco Chanel” (a very famous mademoiselle), might pop into your head. But if you use this term around a French person, they’ll most likely think interdit (prohibited) or even sexiste (sexist). What is the controversy surrounding the word mademoiselle, and why would you still learn it? You’ll learn the cultural background in this helpful guide about madame vs. mademoiselle. 

Common French honorifics and their abbreviations 

Strictly translated, the French language uses the following honorifics for men and women: 

Notice that the abbreviations for Mademoiselle and Madame in French do not have a period, but the abbreviation for Monsieur does. 

These words can be used: 

• in greetings and polite speech:
  • Enchantée, Renée. = Nice to meet you, Renée. 
  • Enchantée, Madame. = Nice to meet you, Madam. 
• when referring to someone by their last name:
  • La réceptionniste, Mademoiselle Saillard, travaille au rez-de-chaussée. = The receptionist, Miss Saillard, works on the ground floor. 
• without capitalizing to act as French nouns for people:
  • Le vieux monsieur a les cheveux gris. = The old gentleman has gray hair. 

Where these words come from 

The words Madame, Mademoiselle, and Monsieur are formed as a combination of the French possessives ma/mon (my) as prefixes in front of the French words dame (lady), demoiselle (maiden/young girl), and sieur (sire/gentleman).

Both mon and ma change to mes in the plural, so the plural forms are: mesdames, mesdemoiselles, and messieurs. At any French spectacle (show/event), you’ll likely hear an announcer boom, Mesdames et Messieurs… (Ladies and Gentlemen…). 

The Mademoiselle vs. Madame distinction is dated

The terms Mademoiselle (Miss) and Madame (Mrs.) were both honorifics used for women, but today Madame is the preferred choice. This is because the word mademoiselle in French used to refer to a woman who was unmarried and available, while madame was the term for a married woman. French men, on the other hand, have always been called Monsieur (Mr.), whether they were married or not. This suggested the underlying cultural belief that a woman’s marital status affected her overall social value, which many French people believe to be false and sexist. Now, most of the time, you use Madame in French to refer to any adult woman.

This discussion may remind you of the English terms “Miss” vs. “Mrs.” In the United States, the term “Ms.,” an ambiguous term that could be used for both married and unmarried women, was proposed in 1901 as a compromise between “Miss” and “Mrs,” but didn’t break into common usage until the 1970s. 

No more Mademoiselle on legal documents

Several cities and even entire French-speaking countries have passed legislation to forbid the use of mademoiselle to indicate a woman’s unmarried status on a legal document. Then French Prime Minister François Fillon made news in 2012 when his official decree eliminated mademoiselle as a choice, leaving only Monsieur (Mr.) for men and Madame (Mrs.) for women on government forms. 

It also changed some related language, such as eliminating the terms nom de jeune fille (maiden name/name as a young girl), nom d’épouse/époux (last name of wife/husband), and nom patronymique (father’s last name). Instead, government forms use the following terms: 

• nom de naissance (name at birth)
• nom de famille (family last name) 
• nom d’usage (current last name in use)

To ask someone’s name, you could say:

• Quel est votre nom de famille ? = What is your last name? 

A history of controversy and discussion of French as a gendered language

Is French a sexist language because of French gender rules? It’s true that the masculine plural may seem to “rule” French. A common example is that if you have a group of 100 people, and just one of them is male, technically, you’re still going to use the masculine plural forms ils (they) and masculine plural adjectives such as intelligents (intelligent) to refer to the group. 

On the other hand, the feminine plurals, such as elles (they) or belles (beautiful) are exclusive to groups of only women, girls, and feminine French nouns. For some, this is just the way it has always been. For others, it’s a point of concern, perhaps even a barrier to something France is known for: la égalité (equality), which is even in its motto.

The debate over a gender-neutral version of the French language

Movements to promote linguistic change have not stopped with madame vs. mademoiselle. In the fall of 2017, a textbook was released that promoted a gender-neutral version of French. Supporters of the movement argued that gendered languages promote sexist outcomes in society, for instance, favoring men and boys in certain professional environments where the nouns for those professions were traditionally masculine. 

Others found this idea outrageous. They felt that it was unnecessary, complicated, and wouldn’t lead to social change. Then premier ministre (Prime Minister) Edouard Philippe declared an end to “inclusive language,” including ways of typing word endings that allowed for both a masculine and a feminine ending as needed. The Académie Française agreed, citing the need to protect notre patrimoine écrit (written heritage).

In 2015, France’s High Council for Equality Between Women and Men published a guide to help organizations and public groups avoid gender-based stereotypes. In 2019, the Académie Française finally accepted feminine forms of certain professions, such as un infirmier (nurse) as a masculine version of une infirmière. In recent years, the use of iel (they) as a singular non-binary pronoun has become more common, though not officially accepted.

The debate continues, but in a language spoken by hundreds of millions of people worldwide, language use outside of the official page has been evolving over time to include different forms, so it’s a question that will be continually explored.

Where you’ll still hear Mademoiselle

Though it has all but vanished from official government documents, you may still hear Madame vs. Mademoiselle in authentic contexts. 

• If a young girl or teenager is clearly not an adult, it still makes sense that she could be called Mademoiselle. 
• For some French girls in their young adult years, the idea of transitioning to Madame is one that they’re not quite ready for. So, it’s a personal choice to be called Mademoiselle.
• The term may be a faux-pas in most professional settings, but in social gatherings, you may still hear it as a way for someone to find out if a woman is married, so you might flirt with her. 
• Entertainment can be a window into how French was spoken in past generations, so you’ll still hear the term in older texts and movies.

Achieve deeper cultural understanding with Rosetta Stone

As you learn French from the experts at Rosetta Stone, you’ll uncover beliefs and values that go far below the surface of the culture. From the reasons one might choose madame vs. mademoiselle, to beliefs about various types of patrimoine (heritage), there are values and beliefs at play within the language, as well as ways that language shapes those values. Unlock the door to understanding French culture by studying both official French and the French language the way it’s really spoken.