Couples who meet online may have lower relationship satisfaction

People who meet their partners online seem to experience less relationship satisfaction and a lower intensity of love than those who first connected in person, according to a study covering 50 countries worldwide.

The advent of the internet has changed the way people form relationships. For instance, in the US in the mid-20th century, heterosexual couples most commonly met through friends; this had changed to online by the early 21st century.

To understand how this impacts the quality of relationships, Marta Kowal at the University of Wrocław in Poland and her colleagues surveyed 6646 people who were mostly in heterosexual relationships across 50 countries from all continents except Antarctica.

They were asked whether they met their partner online and to rate their relationship satisfaction. They were also assessed on the intensity of their love, based on their reported levels of intimacy (such as the feeling that their partner understands them), passion and commitment to their partners (like whether they view their relationship as permanent).

The 16 per cent of participants who met their partner online scored an average of 4.20 out of 5 on a relationship-satisfaction scale, compared with 4.28 among those who first connected offline – a small but statistically significant difference. They also reported lower intimacy, passion and commitment levels.

There could be multiple reasons for this, says Kowal. Research suggests that partners who meet online tend to be less similar in terms of their education, ethnicity and religious backgrounds than those who meet offline. Kowal and her colleagues argue that this could mean they differ in terms of their routines and values.

Kowal also pinpoints “choice overload” – dating websites and apps present users with many options, which may then cause them to second-guess the partner they chose, impacting their relationship satisfaction.

People also sometimes lie on their online dating profiles, she adds. “You’re looking at someone and you’re like, ‘No, he’s not 2 metres tall. He’s, like, 170 centimetres,” says Kowal. This could lead to resentment that impacts relationship satisfaction down the line, she says.

Luke Brunning at the University of Leeds, UK, says that surveying people in a wide range of countries makes the study “interesting” and “useful” for future research, such as uncovering whether online dating is changing how we approach relationships or if the shift is actually being driven by attitudes towards commitment changing more generally.

He also argues that the overall differences between people who meet online or not are “relatively small”.